Sunday, June 2, 2013

So everyone has been asking me, "Is this what you really want?", "Are you really even interested in this?" "Accounting, seriously?" and you know, all that shit. But haih the problem is, I don't even  know what I like, what I actually want to do in the future. No, I have never ever seen myself doing chartered accountancy in the future when I was younger. But neither have I ever seen myself doing dentistry, or even medicine. In fact i've never really thought about it, or even care about my future. Really, not even now. Don't know what will happen. Don't know if I would even be able to cope. Don't know if this would be the right choice. Yes, I had a chance to do dentistry, but instead I took this. I'm scared. But whatever it is, I know God will lead me towards the right path, and hopefully no regrets in the future. So for now, I shall always pray for the best and think positive. Everyone has been looking down on me lately. For someone who didn't even take accounts during SPM, it's kinda crazy to finally decide on this now. This has been going through my mind for the past few weeks or so, and yes making me feel pressured and stressed. Sleepless nights where you just lie in bed thinking about ... everything has been filled with questions after questions after questions about my future. I have another month to think (& possibly change my mind). A part of me really wants this. But another part of me doesn't even believe in myself. Wish all my doubts could go away just like that. What's worse is that my friends aren't really being supportive in this at all. I don't know. But oh well. Let's just wait and see.

Moving on, I really need to be less attached to.. everyone. Because I know for a fact that everyone leaves, and i'd be the one going through all the pain and shit. It has happened way too many times I think (I wish) i'm already immune to it (yeah right). It's like, I don't know how to keep anyone. And yes that really sucks. Sometimes I wish I never met half of the people I have. Although of course, I really hope to keep everyone in my life right now. I don't know if it's karma.. but i'm not liking this a single bit. But whatever right. Just hoping for the best. This definitely ain't my week, i'm sorry.

Wisdom's a gift, but you'd trade it for youth
Age is an honor, it's still not the truth

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